What do you mean you’ve never been to a derby bout?

Laura Allardyce is a cultural observer with an overactive imagination, who is always insisting the glass is half full. She has lived in Ottawa her whole life and says she will only leave once she has smelled all the roses.

What do you mean you’ve never been to a derby bout? Have you seen the movie? You know the one with Ellen Page and the roller skates?

If you’ve never witnessed the storm that is a derby bout in Ottawa’s capital then you simply haven’t lived. Don’t pick the cheap seats when you go, sit right up front on the rink. Your next chance is this Saturday August 6!

That’s what I did when I went to my first derby bout the last time the Capital City Derby Dolls’ team The Dolly Rogers faced off against the Durham Region’s Derby Devils on June 4. I sat on the licensed side of the arena (derby bouts are sponsored by Beau’s Beer!) and had a great view of the action as each jam started.

Read up on the derby rules here but the basic gist of it is:

  1. Each team gets into jam formation: pivots at the front, followed by the blockers, and the jammers at the back.
  2. The referee blows the whistle to start the jam. The pack of pivots and blockers move. Second whistle lets the jammers go.
  3. The jammers have to break through the pack. Whoever gets through first is lead jammer and can collect points for passing the other team’s pack members – without getting knocked down or off the track.

Not being a “sports fan” myself, I was a little embarrassed to find myself almost involuntarily yelling at the Dolls like a hockey mom to “hustle.” It’s also hard to keep the profanities in check. Yes, you’re watching a team with a pirate-themed name kick major @$$ but that’s no excuse to talk like a pirate. There are kids around. That’s right, it’s good old fashioned family fun. If your family is into competitive rough-housing women showing no mercy while demonstrating excellent sportsmanship and skill.

Here are the details of this weekend’s bout against the Toronto Rollergettes. I’m told this team is fierce and will definitely give our Dolls a run for it. We’re talking triple overtime, only the strong survive. Don’t miss it!

Roller Derby Bout – The Dolly Rogers vs. The Toronto Rollergettes

The details:

  • Saturday 6 August ·  Doors open at 6:30 p.m. – 10 p.m. at Jack Charron Arena, 10 McKitrick Drive, in Kanata
  • Tickets are $10 in advance, $12 at the door, $5 if you’re under 12 in advance, $6 at the door, FREE if you’re five or under in advance…and because you’re cute and little, it’s still free at the door.
  • There’ll be a DJ playing sweet, sweet tunes.
  • DECYPHER Clothing will be selling awesome derby stuff.
  • Food, drinks, baked goods and CCDD merch

BAKED GOODS you say? Well it just so happens that I, your lovely guest blogger, will be selling said baked goods in support of my Cycle for CARE Vietnam 2011 fundraising. I’m cycling across Vietnam in September to raise money for CARE Canada. Come out for some wicked derby and show CARE some love with a donation for a sweet tax receipt or help yourself to a sweet treat to help CARE.

You can learn more about my ride and donate online here.